2. 5. 2017 – THEY ARE EVERYWHERE AROUND US…
They are everywhere around us, often being overlooked and underestimated, but still with a great power and the potential to develop our lives. Their potential to create is as strong as their potential to destroy. We hardly ever pay them the attention they deserve, even if they influence our lives more than we like to consciously admit. If we succumb to them, they turn our lives to hell and we become no more than puppets. We don’t want to see them, hear them or smell them. The more we neglect them, the bigger influence they have on us, without us even noticing. Still no clue? Well, please, meet …Emotions.
Emotions (at least the negative ones) are not ‘in’. The positive emotions could sometimes be ‘in’ a bit too much but can do the same damage as the negative ones. We don’t like emotions very much. They are unpleasant, they bother us and that is why we tend to overlook them, displace them and don’t really want to have anything in common with them. Just make sure you don’t show aggression, fear, anxiety or unhappiness. That is definitely not ‘in’ at work.
However, there is nothing more destructive than unprocessed emotions.On one hand we suppress our emotions, try not to show them at all, because we don’t want to make anybody angry (our boss, colleagues, subordinates, clients, etc.) and on the other hand we express them and are proud of ourselves for being tough, fighting for our project, etc. In both cases, we leave nothing but havoc behind us and that is very irresponsible and short-sighted. In the first case, we wear masks trying to please people but not being authentic, which reduces out team’s potential. In the second case, we are destroying our relationships and trust and reducing the team’s potential too. Or would you want to work with somebody who shouts at you and who makes you nervous?
Who is responsible for your emotions?
Emotions are a great source of information not only about other people but mainly about ourselves. There is a certain similarity to waking up after a party. What you did that night you only find out from the other people. Maybe you would rather cover your ears and not listen to any of that. And in the same way, emotions speak to you. They ‘say’ exactly what you don’t want to hear about yourself. They don’t ‘say’ it for you to feel bad, but they are giving you a clue about what is going on inside you; they encourage you to grow. They are here to show you ‘the real you’ and they are your best companion in life at the same time. They are sharp, persistent and always alert. If you acknowledge them and are wise enough to listen to them, you won’t need any coach, mentor, therapist, consultant or guru to grow.
To process your emotions does not mean you are going against your nature. It is actually the opposite: emotional intelligence allows you to react naturally and for your own sake. V. Frankl says: “Between stimulus and response there is always space.” In that space is our power and freedom to choose our response and it depends only on us how big space we create.
What is your choice? Would you rather be a puppet which only responds to each stimulus, or do you want to be in control and decide what is best for you?
By the way, did you know that to live a happy and satisfying life, what matters is not your IQ or your education, but the level of your emotional intelligence?