20. 3. 2017 – WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT MYSELF IN 28 DAYS?
Thanks to the inspiration of the social network Linkedin, I decided, that during February I write and publish a short summary of each day. I wanted to try how it’s to write every day a short reflection on what happened, why to actually do it and whether I managed to keep writing all days.
I had no idea how much useful yet simple tool I started to use for my personal growth. Earlier I used to write my diary, however, rather randomly. These short “text messages” for myself were focused more on experience rather than on the description of activities and it was always pleasure closing of each day. It always tooked just 10-15 minutes and 50-70 words (sometimes only 1 or 2 words) for a brief summary of what was important for me on given day.
And what all this experience has brought me?
1) Positive closing of each day – although a day was not always according to my expectations, short evening stop always gave me peace, inspiration, release and strengthen faith in myself.
2) Discipline – sometimes to make an effort was needed to withstand write every day but eventually, it became a habit, which I will continue, and in fact, I already do not need any effort at all.
3) Deeper insight – into my inner world. Important experiences that otherwise would have been forgotten and lost were anchored through feelings while writing the summary.
4) Courage – I did not address how much personal summary of the day is. I just wanted to share and I shared regardless of the fact that I have often said myself that it is stupid and that no one cares about it
5) Changing perspective – experience that I have perceived negatively month ago, I started to look at from a different perspective. So naturally, I gained much kinder and more positive view of myself and what was happening to me.
6) Expressing – summed up in a few words the most important thing that happened during the day is sometimes difficult. Still far it is not perfect, but I know that if I continue, my ability to stop, formulate and express ideas with a few words will radically improve. And it may come in handy.
7) New communication – on the other hand, I found that the observations of some things sometimes can’t be expressed by words. Simply communication takes place on many levels, not only verbal but especially energetical, at which you accept and get the most information. I started to call it “holistic communication” for myself.
8) Better perception – I started to feel much better my feelings and emotions and feeling and emotions of people around me. My emotional intelligence has risen up, mainly my emotional stability.
9) Greater confidence – a better perception by the self-awareness naturally leads to greater self-confidence. I am much more aware of my weaknesses, without diminishing my own value. At the same time, I see how I grow and develop my strengths.
February 1: My choice
How I feel and how I experience my life, is entirely my choice. Sometimes it’s easier, sometimes harder, but it is always my choice. Likewise, everything that is happening to me in my life, is entirely my choice. Sometimes I forget it and I need to constantly remind this to myself. In case I forget better than fighting is the full acceptance – of the situation and especially of myself.
February 2: I don’t know
“I don’t know..” Today I have said it several times to myself. Doesn’t matter if you say it out loudly, or “only” in your mind. In any case, by saying this you release yourself, you give space to others you and fully listen to them. You stop to strive and to persuade. Allow yourself to don’t know, it’s liberating.
February 3: Decision making and intuition
Yesterday I finished reading a book of the same name. I was observing the whole day my own decision-making processes and was fascinating and entertaining game. The most interesting was how often, even after unimportant decisions, I was examining whether it would be better to decide otherwise. And it takes a lot of energy.
February 4: Simply relax
February 5: Fear of failure
Do you postpone activities, actions or anything else yet, you know that it’s important for you? I do, sometimes as well and today I have realized that in 90% behind this, is my fear of failure (and judgment). It’s very inconspicuous, while deep and not nice at all. The only way to overcome this fear is to accept its existence and act even with the knowledge that I might fail.
February 6: Emotions & Power of silence
Again, I realized how important is to feel, consciously manage and awaken emotions. My own emotions and emotions of others. I put off a mask of serious Ondřej. Sometimes I wear it subconsciously because it gives me the feeling that I have things under the control. But in fact, I don’t have many things under the control. Unfortunately, thereby I am impoverishing myself of a gift of spontaneity. Another observation today – art and power of silence and listening are very valuable gifts. Thanks for that.
February 7: Light head
I have a light head. Light and empty. A feeling of absolute contentment. Simple state of being when I have NO thoughts and emotions. I am just being, nothing more, nothing less. I experience a feeling of happiness that is inside and does not require any external doping. How plain and simple.
February 8: Keep walking
I used to like Johnnie Walker whiskey. Today, I much prefer their motto: “Keep walking.” No matter how big a step I’m doing, but I keep walking. I do not want to stop and I am moving along. It’s the same as when running a marathon or walking in the mountains. Step by step, meter by meter. Perseverance is needed, but it’s worth it.
February 9: Unwavering faith
Faith, unwavering faith and humble trust in myself is the foundation of my actions. This faith can not be replaced by anything, nor blind optimism or encouragement from others. Only faith gives me strength to be fully aware and see the obstacles in my way and the energy and desire to overcome them.
February 10: 40
One of my favorite days of the year because it’s my birthday. This time, 40th. In addition to gifts from my loved ones, I received another two unexpected extra gifts. The first – an amazing enrichment, during one of my coaching session. And the second – my favorite movie KID. B. Willis plays a successful man celebrating his 40th birthday. The powerful story about our children’s dreams, which we, unfortunately, forget during the life. We forget that we wanted to fly the red plane in childhood.
February 11: Doing nothing
No plans, nothing specific to do and total shutdown.
February 12: Lost day
It’s a strange feeling to have nothing to write. What to write when I have nothing to write? I recall a lot of today’s activities, what I did and said, but nothing left inside me anchored. No feeling, no emotion. It’s like the today haven’t happened at all. Lost and wasted a day of my life. And that’s just because I was not here and now. I had been in my head, and it is definitely not a place for living and experiencing a beauty of life.
February 13: Constant growth
It’s amazing how everyday written reflection supports my growth. I used to write a long diary with a list of activities. Now I write just a couple of sentences and focus on what was the most important that day and make it conscious. The individual shifts are subtle, but with each other, are more and more visible, connected and strengthen. And as a bonus, I am learning to formulate ideas into few sentences.
February 14: Blind trust & soil
How to let go of what I am trying to control and don’t have under the control at all? How to let life flow? I need to have a clear and humble intent. I need to have blind faith in yourself and your inner compass. I need to redirect my attention elsewhere, through doing and through the soil, wood, and stone.
February 15: Positive Fear
Yesterday I experienced a rare great moment when understood the power of free-flowing fear. I always perceived the fear as a negative, blocking and paralyzing energy and emotion. I tried to remove him, defend him, question him, discredit him, not to see him. For a brief moment, I was able to feel what it is to accept the fear and not to put in his way. Fear is not necessarily prescriptive and paralyzing, but also liberating and giving energy.
February 16: Angriness
I was angry because I didn’t stand up for myself! This simple sentence is true and it came to my mind today when I was coaching a client. How simple. Earlier, when I get angry, I blamed everything and everyone around me. Angriness is always and in all circumstances only natural guardians of my boundaries. They appear whenever I lost my own direction and whenever I do not listen to what I really want and need. THANK YOU TOMÁŠ
February 17: Change of pace
After a long time, I have fasted today and endured. I strengthened my persistence when I overcame a weak moment. I have adapted to a slower rhythm of the day and I did not fight with greater fatigue and sleepiness. I left my body to have found its pace.
February 18: Wholeness
February 19: Following my impulses
Today I examine my inner world differently. I am shutting down my head and follow impulses to conduct acting, speaking and experiencing emotions. I do not defend, I do not analyze, just follow very fine impulses of my soul. It’s very relieving, soothing and easy to follow my inner voice without evaluation and comments.
February 20: Ordinary day
There are days when it seems that almost nothing happens. Ordinary day. That was exactly my day today. Unless I don’t pay attention to small details and ignore minor trifles showing signs on my way. Moreover, they are a pleasant change and the recovery of an otherwise ordinary day.
February 21: Meaningfulness
Yesterday I again strongly feel that what I do makes sense. Despite the fact, I constantly hear that everyone is now coach and the coach does not need to know anything. I’m grateful that I can do what fulfills me, gives me a sense of joy and inspiration. I feel gratitude. I feel gratitude, humility, and responsibility for being allowed to peek into the inner world of the people around me and be there when they are changing lives.
February 22: Emotions again
Realize experience, accept and explore my emotions. The hardest work and at the same time liberating work that I have experienced. I need to be constantly here and now. This process requires my full attention, commitment, concentration and perseverance. Each day shows me how much I had underestimated emotion in the past, or vice versa overestimated. I haven’t seen how important information emotions bring to me.
February 23: Power of sharing
Sharing and real, deep listening is for me the best way of learning about myself and about the people around me. When I genuinely care about others, don’t judge them and listen to what they say, I also gain a better understanding of myself.
February 24: Balanced decision making
I like and it strengthens me when I reflect the principle of balance and proportionality in my decision making. The adequacy of the speed of decision making, where I don’t make decisions impetuously or vice versa without hesitation. A balance of intuition and reason, when reason with its excessive zeal, doesn’t disturb delicate voice of intuition. Balance and reasonableness lead to actions that match my intentions and are conducted in a natural rhythm.
February 25: Breath as a symbol
Observing the breath is my favorite form of meditation. How we breathe symbolically reflects how we behave in everyday life. Again, I was surprised that I discovered on my breath something new and interesting. In this case, the way how I breathe in. Breath in symbolizes, the way how I usually start something new in my life.
February 26: Manifestation
The last few days the word manifest has been coming to my mind. I like the way it looks and sounds. It has the courage, strength, joy and enthusiasm. The dictionary is usually a manifestation of sentiments, beliefs, feelings. How I manifest my intentions, my beliefs and myself? Honestly, I have to say that there is definitely certain room for improvement …
February 27: Kairos or Chronos
We have several generations of time management, a lot of planning tools, applications, and instructions. And yet people who do not have the time around me does not diminish, on the contrary. WHY? How is it possible? These planning tools do not address the cause, but a consequence. Our perception of time is within ourselves. We forgot the adoption of radical responsibility for time management. We forgot to distinguish when is the “right” time or Kairos, as it was called by the ancient Greeks. We do not see that we live in captivity of linear time Chronos.
The last day of February for me was the sign of coincidences and changes. Yet I would not consider that yesterday was neither chaotic nor hectic day. The truth is that the whole day was despite the changes, in the natural, smooth and successful mode. I did not try to twist it and resist what is coming or get upset that things do not go according to plan. I simply was.